Proven Hacks To Get Happier

Every day is a new day, begin again.We all have had bad days. Life ebbs and flows. The seasons of life can morph these days into weeks, months even years if we let them.Coming out of Covid it seems as if there is a huge uptick in depression and sadness in the world.I for one felt the weight of stress coming down on me like an avalanche.Before COVID hit my marriage fell apart, my son attempted suicide while battling with deep depression,my dog died and so did my cat. I was the lyrics to a country song if I wanted to make light of my situation. Then Covid hit and my business shut down, self-employed, and money was running out quickly.I lost myself for a moment. I found myself sad, desperate with despair. Until one day I decide no more. I turned to all the tools in my toolbelt that I taught myself over the years and fought hard… I found my way back. Back to happiness… Here is my short list of the things I did to regain the happy person I was used to seeing.1. Give up toxic relationships. “You get what you tolerate”. Tony Robbins. Great quote by a great man. I heard this right as I was considering divorce. It was like a push in the right direction to get out of a bad situation. It also made me examine some of the other relationships in my life with friends and family. Respectfully distancing myself from those that are not good for me and my mental health. It is okay to break up with people that are no longer or never were good for you. This does not make you a bad person but a strong person, one with boundaries and self-love.2.Give back. “Service To Others Is The Rent You Pay For Your Room Here On Earth” Muhammad Ali. After losing two children I started volunteering in pediatrics intensive care. Taking care of sick babies after losing mine helped me heal years ago. Recently I got certified to be a crisis counselor on a text line. After my son’s suicide attempt and mental depression, I am now helping other people with their crisis. To give back is giving to me. It makes me grateful for all I have. It proves to me that I am not alone in my struggles and allows me to help strangers see they are not alone as well. I felt alone at times in my time of crisis, wanting to give up. It is a scary place to be in. I never want anyone to be in that place. It puts a smile on my face when a complete stranger simply says “Thank you for being there…”3.Get out in Nature. “A Walk In Nature Walks The Soul Back Home” Mary Davis. Even on windy rainy days, if I force myself up and out of the house to walk outside I feel instantly better. Looking at nature, regardless of the seasons… it’s hard to imagine that there isn't a higher power. To see the leaves blowing, the buds on the trees, the sun setting or rising. The grass under my feet. Inhaling and exhaling, staying true to the present moment.4.Connection. “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you”. Maya Angelou. This one can be a hard one, especially for introverts like me. I know firsthand that picking up the phone or simply keeping plans with loved ones can seem daunting, but guaranteed every time, it is worth it. To connect is to live. To share our lives, our victories and hard days is being part of the community. We all must have a tribe, we can not do this thing called life alone. CONNECT!5. Smile! “ A smile is happiness you’ll find right under your nose” Tom Wilson. Even if you don’t feel it… Just smile. The simple act of smiling causes the brain to release the feel-good hormones dopamine and serotonin. Walking down the street, smile at the neighbor. Hold the door open with a smile. Drive down the street, smile, wave. You will be surprised how much more relaxed and happier you are at the end of your day. ( and so will the people you smiled at )6. Write. “ I can shake off everything as I write; my sorrows disappear, my courage is reborn.” Anne Frank. Take a moment and journal. Writing down your feelings can be closure and/or clarifying. It is a way of cleansing your mind of all the messiness floating around in there. Putting it down on paper and coming back to it can help you see what the root of all the trouble is. Go one step farther and I challenge you to write 3 things you are grateful for. Research shows it brings gratitude in and of itself.7. Exercise. “ You’re only one workout away from a good mood” Physical activity helps bump up the production of your brain’s feel-good neurotransmitters, called endorphins. Exercise also reduces levels of the body’s stress hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol. When I was smack in the middle of COVID shut down I found myself doing countless jigsaw puzzles looking at my four walls closing in on me. Feeling “stuck” in dispair and very isolated and alone…I had an idea… I should go for a run. I hadn’t run in 4 years. I used to run marathons, giving it up when life got tough and busy. Life was still tough but definitely wasn’t busy at the current moment. So I laced up my old running shoes and went out for a run. It wasn’t epic but it was a start. I then ran the next day… and the next… 3 1/2 years later, I am still running and LOVING it. It not only strengthens my legs and lungs but also my mental state. I encourage you to find something you love to do physically. Every day wont be great but every day will be worth it.These are just a few of the things I have learned over the years to get me out of a “funk” when life start to slide down. I am happy to report that present day : I am remarried to an amazing man, my son is the happiest, healthiest he’s ever been. I have a new puppy and I am not naive to the notion that there maybe bumps in the road ahead but I do know that with a little patience with myself, self love and sticking to the things I know, I can get through them with grace… I hope you can too. I hope you can take something out list with you on your journey.Bonus point:An interesting thing to note… As we age, we naturally become happier. Older people tend to focus on and remember happier times rather than negative ones. So rest assured, if you thought growing old would make you miserable, you’re more likely to develop a more positive outlook.